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Анекдоты | Миша.Мчедлишвили


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- Вот тебе гитара!
- Настроена?
- Нас двое нна… Пой давай нна…

Париж…



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Париж. На улице красных фонарей стоит девушка, соблазнительно изогнув бедро. Подходит потенциальный клиент.

- Сколько?
- 80.
- Почему так дорого?
- Ты посмотри, какой изгиб бедра!
- Ладно, согласен, пошли…
- Пошли (идет, хромая, так и не сумев разогнуться).



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Анекдот от знакомого:

Медведев идет к трибуне держать свою первую президентскую речь.
Его помощник:
- Секундочку, к вашему рукаву прицепилась какая-то ниточка,
ой, и ко второму тоже….
Вдруг откуда-то голос Путина: “Это нужные ниточки, не трогайте их”.

Анекдот



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Степашка ест бутерброд с салом.
- А меня угостишь Степашечка?- спрашивает тётя Таня.
- Конечно.
- А Филю?
- И Филю.
- А Хрюша придет, его угостишь?
- Хрюша не придет…



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- Алло, это Одесса?
- А вы как думаете?
- Алло, это Рабинович?
- А что?
- Вы знаете, что в Нью-Йорке умер Ваш дядя?
- И все мне?
- Вы знаете сколько за ним долгов?
- Послушайте, куда вы звоните?



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Приходит Путин, Фрадков и Иванов в ресторан. Официант:
- Что будете заказывать, Владимир Владимирович?
- Рыбу.
- А овощи?
- А овощи тоже будут заказывать рыбу.

Микробы



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- Микробы под ободком унитаза не дают Вам уснуть? Не спите под ободком унитаза!



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Кикабидзе рассказывает анекдот:



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Прислали:

Горный велосипед. 16400 рублей по карте мастеркард. Авиабилет до Туапсе. 6500 рублей по карте мастеркард. Костыли и кресло-каталка. 11000 рублей по карте мастеркард. Целый позвоночник - бесценно. Есть вещи, которые невозможно купить. Для всего остального есть мастеркард.



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Пожалуйста, не выгоняйте студентов из Гарварда. Дайте им доучиться. А то они потом Windows делают.